Varhaus No. 9
INCONFORMATION
“Welcome to the first edition of Inconformation, a podcast brought to you by Varhaus. I’m Gabriel Thomas. Each week, we’ll discuss the happenings around Varhaus. What is Varhaus? Is it an art gallery or event space? Is it an urban renewal project or the wild dream of like-minded people? Is it folded, praying hands or a middle finger? Let’s figure it out together.”
*Inconformation has no sponsors. To fill the gap in the podcast where you are used to fast forwarding past live reads for dietary supplement advertisements, we’ve included some businesses that we use every day. We would like to thank Puma for their sweatpants and Discount Mugs .Com. Thanks to Chico’s Bail Bonds and The Quality Dairy Store on Michigan Ave. Hi Wanda. A special hello goes to all the discount stores and Tom Izzo. Now, Varhaus presents: Inconformation.*
“Welcome to the show! Before we start with our topic today, I need to give you some background. It is background that I really don’t have other than my own observations. Our first guest is a bit hard to nail down. There’s been a significant negotiation happening here for a month.
How do you get someone to talk that doesn’t want to? I feel like the owl trying to get to the center of a tootsie pop. How many fuck no’s does it take? It took 7. In the end, I pitched seven ideas to discuss with Jason, today. He said no to every one.
Last week, he called me at 5 am on a Tuesday. ‘I know what we should talk about.’
I’d like to introduce you to an abstract painter, the founder of Varhaus, Jason (Last Name purposely left out.)”
“Good morning Gabe, I’m excited for your podcast. You’re gonna kill it. Please don’t confuse my evasiveness with a lack of enthusiasm for you. I’m happy to be here.”
“Thanks you. I know you’re here to talk about someone else. But for the sake of the podcast, can we give a little background on you and Varhaus? I know you sell art all over the country. I know you were a chef. I know you built a rosary shed that is currently traveling the country. I’ve been to your events. We’ve had dinner together. I know you’ve attracted very interesting and specially talented people to Varhaus. Can you define yourself for me? Like, are you a painter or primarily, or some sort of philosopher?”
“I’m more of a song and dance man, really.”
“C’mon dude...already with the Dylan quotes? Really, how do you see yourself?”
“I’m a Catholic Husband, Father and Son. I like ideas more than I like things.”
“And Varhaus?”
“It’s just a word I made up to hide behind when I was tired of hearing my own name. A sort of anti-brand.”
“I was at a friend’s house the other day. They offered me coffee in a cup with your anti-brand. The same one I have at home. The same one that everyone drinks wine out of at your events. It says: Go to Heaven. Do simple commerce. Show people they’re not trapped.”
“Figure it out, dude.”
“We had a bet in the back about how long it would take you to tell me that. I think I won 20 bucks. Is there a reason that the coffee mug is so important? I’ve never seen another piece of merch for sale or it duplicated anywhere. And why are you so coy about the meaning?”
“It’s on the mug because the rosetta stone to figuring it out is hospitality, like you received at your friends house. There is also a decoder ring: Romans 12:2-10”
“Be not conformed...”
“Indeed.”
“How did you assemble this idea?”
“Don’t push dude. I already said more than I’ve said in 3 years.”
“One more question?”
“Take a shot.”
“Why do you refuse to explain yourself?”
“Penance.”
“We’ll be back in 30 seconds after our fake commercial for ACME Oyster House.”
Do you work for ACME Oyster House in New Orleans, Louisiana? Do you know someone there? Do you own the place? We’d like you to sponsor our podcast. Our prices are very reasonable. 2 Dozen Charred Oysters and Butter Beans with Tasso will get you a whole year of Varhaus advertisement
OYSTERHAUS
“That’s a great ad, Gabe. Who gets the butter beans?”
“Figure it out.”
“Touche.”
“You said you wanted to discuss one person today. Do you want to start the conversation? Do you want to tell me who it is?”
“I do. There is only one person that needs Varhaus. Conversely, Varhaus only needs one motherfucker. His name is Mike Miller, and he is the most special man that I know. The whole operation lives and dies with him.”
“Really? I love Mike and I know he’s important. I just don’t know why, exactly.”
“Luckily I am here to tell you. Because without him, nothing would happen.”
“One summer I started working at the building. I was cleaning and organizing trying to hack out an art studio, a wood shop and a little office for myself. I have no man-skills. I hate mowing lawns. It just grows back. I had childlike tools. A saw. A drill. A couple destructive implements.
This guy knocks on the window. He says he is there to work on the electrical box. Also, to check out the roof. A handyman of sorts. I didn’t hire him. Cam Gault, the landlord called him.
He goes on the roof for an hour. Comes back, jiggles some wires, I have light! I poured him some coffee. No logo. We sit down on this old leather couch I borrowed from Ruth.”
We drink coffee and shoot the shit. I asked him some questions, but I could tell that he didn’t want to discuss himself. He blasted me with questions, though. What are you doing? You’re an artist? What are you going to do with all this room? The place is a dump...but has potential. We talked for an hour and drank a few cups. I told him everything I knew at that point. He leaves.
I didn’t really think anything of it. Nice guy. But other than that...I went back to work.
I showed up at five the next morning. Covid made me an early riser. I must have said something to Mike about it. He was there art 5:30. He asks me if the back garage door works. I said, yes, but it will take two of us to lift it. He tells me to meet him in back in 10 minutes.”
Gabe: Let me stop you right there. “Folks, we’ll be back in 30 seconds for the rest of the Mike and Varhaus story.”
Do you have an interest or a talent that nobody but you believes in? You want to try something that you think will make a difference in this world? Seems like nobody else gives a shit? Come see us at Varhaus. Maybe we can help? Maybe not, but we’ll listen.
Maybe you too could be sponsored by Chico’s Bail Bonds or Puma, like we hope to be someday.
...be not conformed...Varhaus.
“So what happened at the back garage?”
“I go back and open the people door next to the garage door.
He says to me: ‘I’m going to back my trailer in so I can unload these materials.’
To what end? Are you starting the roof already?
‘No, I’m going to fix your studio. You really don’t know what you’re doing. Somehow yesterday you showed me that good things can happen in this world. I don’t even like art, but I like yours. I don’t even know your last name.
I don’t have a dime, Mike.
‘you don’t need one. My daddy taught me when you see someone trying to do something without a care for what others think, help that person. It’s like people who eat alone are special. I’m not asking.’
If I owe you, Mike, I cannot do what I need to do. If it’s hanging over my head, it could crush me.
‘I’m not asking. Shut up and take the help.
What do you get out of it?
‘don’t worry about me. I suspect I’m already getting it.’”
Gabe: “He just showed up and started helping you? For free?”
“yup.”
“What’s his back story? Where’s he from? What’s he do other than work with you?”
“I want to be careful about this part.”
“typical.”
“No, it’s not the usual caution. Mike has a terrible and wonderful story to tell. It’s not my place to say, really. I hope he tells it somehow, someday. Because it matters to everyone. Literally everyone. We all have our tragedies and periods of personal crisis. Mike lost everything he had...his business...his family...his home...all in one afternoon. The very fact that he is standing upright is a miracle to me. But to do what he’s done and how he’s done it. It makes me so ashamed and humble in my heart that I don’t want to spoil it with words.”
“Let’s skip the commercial break and keep rolling, Doc. Please tell me more.”
“I can’t. I won’t be able to get out what feel about him. I don’t even want to try because anything I say more will diminish the power of the story and the results. I can only tell you how he affects me daily.”
“and how is that? I’ve know Mike for about a year now and he always seems to be doing something, too busy for me to get to know.”
“You nailed it on accident. I know what I know because it was just him and me for 2 years before Ruth came along.”
“Can you tell people about Ruth so the audience has some context?”
“You want me to boil Ruth down into a couple sentences? Impossible and probably inaccurate.”
“Give me five descriptive words about her.”
“Translator. Powerhouse. Old Testament Feminist.”
“Good enough.”
“Here is what Mike taught me. Something I suspected but I’ve never seen it modeled so directly. If you put out effort into the world and you are aligned with your nature, it comes back to you, but never how you expect it. Somehow you become attractive to people because they want to break out...they’re so inundated with this bullshit world. I put an effort in. Mike recognized it. He joined in, not in the way I thought I needed, but in his way...probably the way I actually needed..”
“And what is Mike’s way?”
“Quiet. Unbelievably capable. Unflappable. Productive. Honest.”
“That is what I think of you.”
“Very wrong. I’m usually trapped in my head and that hinders my ability to act. I am constantly trying to tap down my ego- it’s a real battle.”
“You said that Mike is the only person that needs Varhaus and the only person Varhaus needs.”
“True.”
“Why does he need it?”
“It’s not my place to say that. I hope he will say it someday.”
“Okay. I know most of the people do work at your place. You have this assortment of different people. Talented and special folks. Not to be disrespectful, but from my view, without Ruth, the whole place would sink. Why does Varhaus only need Mike?”
“You’re right to bring all those people up. It takes all kinds to spin this world around.”
“and Mike?”
“Because Mike puts the mug into action without thinking about it. He lives it without considering it. His nature is Varhaus. Not the idea. Not a slogan. A life. But, instead of showing people that they are not trapped, he, in every action he takes, un-traps them.”
Inconformation is the official Varhaus Podcast. Sponsored by Little Debbie Nutty Bars, Black Coffee and Whiffle Ball. Figure it out.
Now, back to the blithering...
“Can you tell me some things that Mike has done to illustrate your point?”
“Sure. He built the Rosary shed, my office, my easels, and every set we use for our events. He made a flying ceiling contraption so we can change lighting anytime we want. He made my car work. He build a trailer for the shed. He makes unreal sandos.
He remodeled the landlords office, fixed the roof and makes doors quit squeaking.
He turned my art studio into a batting cage that looked like Fenway Park.
In short, he makes cool shit. He makes our ideas possible. He built this podcast setting with Doc.”
“That’s a lot of work. How does he earn a living?”
“He is the only person that has payroll at Varhaus. Everyone else eats what they kill, individually or together. He gets paid on that too.”
“It seems like many tradesmen could accomplish these things.”
“Its not the what. Its the why and the how. We’ve covered that already.”
“We have?”
“figure it out.”
‘I HEARD YOU GUYS ARE TALKING SHIT IN HERE.’
Gabe: “Hey Mike! Sit down at the mic so people can hear you clearly.”
“No, thanks. I got shit to do.”
Jason: “Hey Mike...don’t sit down then. Stand right there and yell at the microphone your motto!”
“DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DID, GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS GOT.”
“Amen.”
“On that note:
Thanks a million for listening to the first edition of Inconformation, a Varhaus podcast.
Varhaus: do what you always did, get what you always got.
Til next time, I’m Gabriel Thomas. Figure it out.”
Winner winner chicken dinner.
Chico's Bail Bonds is the shit. They have saved my ass many times.
I especially like their membership discount program.